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The best & worst Christmas cracker jokes

Simon Westlake

GB Mag puts the crack into cracker jokes.

Christmas crackers

Boom... it is time to pop those Christmas crackers.    Photo: jonofpob (Flickr).

CHRISTMAS cracker jokes are as bad as they are important. Crackers are the long decorated tube traditionally left on each place setting at the table. The tradition of breaking a cracker before the big meal on Christmas Day is followed by the donning of a paper crown, checking out what tiny gift you got and finally reading the joke. For those who don’t know, the joke in a Christmas cracker, like all good comedy, is all about delivery and timing. The idea is that the jokes are BAD and the worse they are, the better they are. Now this is a case of making the best of a bad job, the joke will be horrendous, and we mean bad. To prepare you here are GB Mag’s top 10 good (but bad) Christmas cracker jokes.

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road? 

To prove he wasn't chicken   

Q. What is the best Christmas gift in the world?

 A broken drum, you just can't beat it!   

Q. What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of? 

You!Cracker jokes

Q. Why don't penguins fly? 

Because they're not tall enough to be pilots!

Q. Who is Santa afraid of?  

The Elf and safety officer

Q. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? 

He got 25 days 

Q. How do snowmen get around? 

They ride an icicle.

Q. What's furry and minty? 

A polo bear.

Q. Whatdoes Santa do with overweight Elves? 

He sends them to an Elf farm

Q. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.



*Photo: AsiaticLeage (Flickr)

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